I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
