Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
