Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
