I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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