Soap is not a condiment
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
