she was so not down for the gang bang
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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