so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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