Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
