She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
