Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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