so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you never un-have a 4some
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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