Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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