woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
