Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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