we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize