Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
