no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
