sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
