He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
