Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
