guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
