I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
