Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
