whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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