yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
