The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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