either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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