I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize