Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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