i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize