32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
