Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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