are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize