Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
well I can't set my house on fire every night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
