just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.