my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
