We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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