But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
