I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
