The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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