think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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