the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
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Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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