Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize