my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
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I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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