i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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