I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
