whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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