Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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