i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its liver damage thursday
Randomize