We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
