Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
