Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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