You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
