Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
