After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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