Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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