i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
