I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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