Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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