Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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